Real Men Cry
by pinkluver93
Summary: "I know how you feel..." MordecaiXBenson


**NOTE: This story contains death, violence, and depressing themes. It's also Mordecai-centric for the most part, but MordecaiXBenson towards the end.**

_Ring ring ring! Ring ring ring!_

Being a light sleeper, Mordecai instantly heard the phone ringing from downstairs, so he quickly woke up, yawned and briskly walked down the stairs. He picked it up just before it stopped ringing.

He groggily answered. "Hello?"

As Mordecai continued to listen to the person on the other end, his facial expressions changed drastically, from an 'I just woke up' face, to a 'You're kidding me, you're SERIOUSLY pulling a prank on me, right?' face...

"NO! Y-you're joking! When? HOW?" He was starting to shake. "N-no, no please, no..."

Finally, as he continued to listen, his face maintained a depressed, extremely shocked state, his mouth agape.

"..O-okay, I will.." His wing shook as he hung up the phone. His face stayed the same as he sulked back up to he and Rigby's room and crawled back into bed and hid under the covers, wishing he could never come out again. He started to silently cry, curling up into a ball until he would fall asleep.

_This isn't real, none of it's real! It's all a nightmare..._

...

"Mordecai, wake up, c'mon! It's 2 in the afternoon already!"

Mordecai woke up to the feeling of Rigby poking him through the sheets. He realized he had fallen asleep under the sheets.

But he wasn't coming out...

"I'm staying here, dude.." He said with somber in his voice.

Rigby looked confused. "Why?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, I'm fine."

"What?" Rigby poked his friend again. "Dude, you can tell me anything, man. We're like PB and J, bananas and apples, pee and-"

"Quit poking me!"

"No, I'm not gonna stop 'til you come out!"

There was a pause, then Mordecai sighed.

"Fine, keep poking."

Then, Rigby attempted to pull off the sheets, while Mordecai struggled to keep them over himself.

"C'mon, man, you can't stay there forever!"

"Let go of the sheets, Rigby, I'm warning you!"

"No! Not until you let-" The sheets finally came off, and they revealed Mordecai's red eyes and tear-stained face.

"...go..." Rigby had a terrified look on his face. "Dude, have you been...crying?"

"Yeah." Mordecai said defensively, wiping his eyes. "Got a problem with it?"

"I-it's fine, I just never really, you know,..see you cry so I-"

"Zeke is dead."

Rigby raised an eyebrow. "S-s-say what now?"

"My cousin Ezekiel! He was found dead last night! That's why I've been crying like a little girl most of the night!"

"Oh. Umm, I'm sorry..." That was all Rigby could say. He held a sad look on his face after that.

Mordecai glared. "T-that's all you can say? I tell you my cousin died and all you can say is sorry?"

"I-I'm sorry, man I-"

"Look, I know you never liked him that much, but atleast show some sympathy!"

"Okay, jeez! I didn't hate the guy, I was just-"

"Mordecai, there you are!" Benson said as he slammed the door open. "Where have you been? You and Rigby are supposed to be out doing work!"

"Dude, chill!" Rigby told him. "Mordecai just got up!"

"What?" Benson became red. Many things pissed him off, and one of those things was when his employees (Mordecai and Rigby for the most part) decided to sleep all day instead of getting up at the crack of dawn like everyone else.

Rigby defended he and Mordecai the best he could. Meanwhile, Mordecai discreetly slid back under the covers.

"H-he wouldn't wake up earlier and when I tried to get him up he sounded sick, so I just kinda gave him time to sleep and all and-"

"I don't wanna hear it!" Benson said, not believing Rigby's excuses. "There's no reason why any of you should be sleeping in this late when you KNOW you're supposed to be up at the crack of dawn every work day! Is that so hard to get through your thick heads?"

"Alright, we're sorry!" Rigby raised his hands in defense.

"You better be! Now get back to work!"

"But I-"

"NOW!" Rigby ran out of the room, not wanting to test Benson anymore.

After he was gone, Benson walked over to the bed and started tapping Mordecai through the sheets. "C'mon, get out of there! You have work to do!"

"I don't feel like it today."

"Excuse me?" Benson said, appalled.

"I said I don't wanna work today, leave me alone."

He shoved Mordecai, not appreciating the backtalk. "I don't care what you WANT to do. You HAVE to do your job, whether you WANT to or not!"

Mordecai shrugged under the covers. "So what?"

Benson turned red and fiercely tore the sheets off of Mordecai, who hid his weary eyes by rubbing them.

"I don't know what's up with you, but I don't appreciate your attitude right now!"

"Gee, really Benson?" Mordecai angrily shot back. "That doesn't surprise me since the only person you appreciate around here is YOURSELF!"

Benson's eyes widened, and once that deep insult sunk in, he glared and slapped Mordecai hard on his right cheek, causing him to groan and rub the throbbing cheek, a tear dropping from his wet eyes.

Benson stood above the bird, glaring down at him and arms crossed, like a parent scolding his/her child.

"Yeah, I hope it hurts, you moron! That pain you're feeling right now is what I'm feeling after you spat out that nasty remark."

Mordecai scoffed and looked down, quietly mumbling. "You don't know pain.."

"Don't tell me what I know and-hey!" Benson snapped his fingers in Mordecai's face. "Hey! Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Mordecai felt himself on the verge of crying again, so he stood up. "I gotta go.."

As he headed for the door, Benson couldn't believe what was happening. "Where are you going? I WASN'T FINISHED WITH YOU YET! GET BACK HERE OR-"

"I..DON'T..CARE!" Mordecai finally yelled, a few tears falling as he stood by the door. "You can't make my day or life worse than it already is, so just save your breath!"

Benson stood, confused. "What are you talking about?"

Mordecai was about to say something, but stopped, shaking his head. "I-I gotta get outta here.."

"No, get back here! Mordecai!"

Benson tried to chase Mordecai as he ran downstairs and out of the house, but dang, that bird sure ran fast..

Of course, instead of comprehending this piece of logic, Benson decided he had bigger fish to fry.

He looked out the window towards where he ran off. "Ugh, how am I supposed to find him now..."

"I wouldn't bother, he wants to be alone." Benson looked back to see Rigby looking at a newspaper, not looking too happy himself. "He probably went to a secret place to cry it all off."

Benson went to the table and sat down across from Rigby. "Oh, really? He didn't seem like he was going anywhere specific.."

Rigby's eyes shifted. "I really shouldn't tell you anything, it's kindof a bro-privacy thing, you know?"

"I don't care. Tell me where he went or you're fired."

"C'mon Benson, you know you're not gonna-"

"I'll give you the rest of the day off."

Rigby thought for a minute, then happily nodded. "Deal! Oh, and uh, you'll probably need this.." He said as he gave Benson a torn-out article with a certain disturbing picture on it.

"How is this gonna help me find him?"

Rigby rubbed the back of his neck, looking even more genuinely depressed. "It's a long story..."

...

The afternoon chills started to swoop in, making Mordecai feel uncomfortable for many reasons. What added to the creepiness was that he was sitting on a bench across from the old abandoned playground about 10 blocks from the park, alone...

It wasn't always this creepy though. Years ago, after the city had just recently been built, kids would always play on it after school. Their kids and their kids' kids played on this playground for years until one day when some kids claimed to hear eerie noises and strange chills when it was close to sunset. Not too long after, all the kids stopped playing on it for good, and it's been left untouched and abandoned for a long time.

And it's still standing right before Mordecai's eyes, continuing to rust, but you could still play on the slides and swings if you wanted to. Back in the days when Mordecai was younger, kids would only play on that forsaken playground if they were triple-dog dared to do it, or if they wanted to show off to their friends or impress girls.

To Mordecai, it was just another place where he and his friends could have fun.

He sighed, still reminiscing the days when he'd play on the rusty playground with Zeke and Don if Rigby wasn't around or if he was being a little jerk or a scaredy-cat.

He remembered the days when the sun went down and Zeke would try to be macho and protect him and friends when they'd hear the creepy noises...

...

_"We ain't scared of you, ghostfaces!" Zeke called to the ghosts, fearlessness in his voice. "This is OUR playground!"_

_"W-w-what he said..." An 8-year old frightened Mordecai said as he hid behind his taller cousin._

_Rigby crossed his arms, scoffing and shifting his eyes nervously. "You're bein' a tough guy for nothin', it's just the wind being creepy, there's no ghosts!"_

_"Yeah there is, dude!" Mordecai argued. "It's the ghosts of the kids that played here a long time ago!"_

_"Pfft," Rigby scoffed. "Exactly! It's like we're scared of ourselves in ghost version!"_

_"Don't underestimate ghosts, Rigby," Zeke warned. "They're supernatural! They can do anything to us, so we gotta defend ourselves so they don't attack us!" _

_He balled his fists, punching the air where the ghosts would be. "Come get some, snot noses! I got king-sized knuckles to knock you out! BOOSH!"_

_Rigby rolled his eyes and glanced at his little brother. "Zeke's crazy, huh?"_

_"No way, he's super cool!" Don happily said._

_"What?" Rigby said, a bit taken aback. "I'm the cool one, not him!"_

_"Don't be silly, Rigbone. You'll always be the coolest to me! But Zeke is quite the awesome guy, you know? He can be tough and be a sweet friend at the same time!" He smiled. "I totally owe him some sugar.."_

_"I can be tough and nice too! You know what? I'm telling mom that you like him more than me!"_

_Don gasped. "No, Rigby please! I'll give you extra sugar if you don't tell-"_

_"NEVER!"_

_"Guys, chillax." Zeke said as he walked back up to them. "Those ghosts kids shouldn't be back for the rest of the week, thanks to my ghost-whisperin' skills." He gave Rigby a noogie. "And now you don't have to chicken out of coming here, Rigs!"_

_"Huh?" Rigby glared. "I am NOT scared of coming here, DUDE!"_

_"Hmm hmm," Mordecai grinned. "You seemed pretty scared when you peed on the slide the other night."_

_"Shut up! I was just surprised!" Rigby growled. "The winds came out of nowhere and-"_

_"Don, Richard!" The mother raccoon called from the small car nearby the tree. "Time to go, it's getting late!"_

_"It's Rigby!" Rigby angrily said to his mom. "RIG-BY! Why's that so hard to remember?"_

_"Yeah yeah whatever, just get in already!" As her sons got in the car, she looked at the two small birds. "You two need a ride?"_

_"We're fine, miss," Zeke assured. "We don't live far from here."_

_"Okay, cool, later kids!" She said casually as she drove off, leaving the two birds alone._

_"We should probably head home," Zeke said as they walked towards home. "I hear the playground gets more haunted as the night goes on."_

_"I thought you'd wanna stay," Mordecai said, smiling up to him. "You could kick some more ghost butt and play there all night."_

_"I would but.." He gave Mordecai a noogie. "I couldn't let my cuz walk home alone, now could I?"_

_"I'll be fine." Mordecai shrugged. "What's the worst that could happen?"_

_Zeke sighed. "A lot of things. You know what, Mordo? I'm glad you got bravery in your veins, that's definitely a plus for you, dude!"_

_Mordecai smiled wide. "Thanks, Zeke!"_

_"But you gotta understand," Zeke said in a serious tone. "There's things that people can't do until they're bigger and older. You don't wanna let your bravery get in the way of your common sense, or you could get really hurt."_

_Mordecai looked down. "I hate being small.."_

_"Dude, don't sweat it," Zeke lightly punched his arm. "One day, you're gonna be big and tall, and you'll be able to do anything you want! But for right now...just enjoy being a little birdie while you still can!"_

_Mordecai laughed and weakly punched Zeke. "Hey! Just cuz I'm little doesn't mean I can't punch you!"_

_He punched Mordecai hard in the arm, chuckling. "Yeah, Punchies is another thing you'll suck at for a while. I'll be sure to go easy on you next time."_

_Mordecai smiled, still rubbing his wing. "Good to know, dude. Good to know..."_

_All of a sudden, an ambulance is about to rush past them, sirens blaring. Mordecai stopped and just stared at it. He was so close to the lane. The ambulance felt like it was going to hit him. Was it? It was so close.._

_"Mordecai, dude! What are you doing?" Zeke cried. "Get back here! Mordecai? Mordecai?"_

_..._

"Mordecai!"

Mordecai shrieked and quickly jumped out of his mind. He looked around and saw Benson standing above him.

"Oh, uh..hey Benson."

Benson rubbed the back of his neck. "Hey. Uh...mind if I sit?"

"Oh, sure."

As Benson took a seat, Mordecai took a minute to recollect his thoughts. There was so much going on in his mind at that moment.

"Sorry I scared you," Benson finally said. "You just looked like you were in...kind of a daze."

Mordecai laid back on the bench, sadly looking up at the sky. "It's okay. I didn't wanna be in it anymore.."

Benson felt a bit awkward, shifting in his seat. He was so unsure of what to do, what to say.

_Poor Mordecai, I-I had no idea! I just wish I knew the proper way to..express my thoughts..._

Just then, Benson pulled out the article from earlier.

"I uh...Rigby thought you would wanna read it." He gave it to him to read.

Mordecai instantly became disturbed at the picture, let alone the whole headline going into detail about his death.

"Great, now the whole world knows..." He crumbled up the paper and threw it towards the playground.

Benson rubbed Mordecai's back. "I-I'm sorry this had to happen to you."

Mordecai began to tear up again. "W-why do you care? You hate me."

"Mordecai, I didn't say that-"

"Fine, if you came here to fire me, that's fine, dude!" He said as he stood up in front of Benson, starting to cry again.

"Losing my job only means that I lost some paychecks for a while. Losing a place to live only means that I'll be temporarily homeless. But losing my cousin that's always been there for me?"

He paused to wipe his tears a bit.

"That means...I lost everything. EVERYTHING. Zeke was the big brother I never had. He practically guided me through my childhood. He was my hero, my role model...my best friend."

He sobbed some more and sat back down, hanging his head down, the tears falling onto his legs.

"Now he's gone, and I'll never see him again, ever.." He began to feel weak and started to shake.

"I-I can't go on, Benson. H-he's gotta come back, h-he's gotta!"

Benson shed a single tear himself, holding Mordecai's wing and rubbing it. "If I could, I would bring him back in a heartbeat, Mordecai, you know I would."

Mordecai thought of something, still sobbing a bit. "M-maybe Skips can do s-something.."

Benson gently shook his head. "I'm sorry.."

He continued to cry as he laid his head down in Benson's lap.

Benson gently rubbed Mordecai's head, looking up at the pink, late afternoon sky.

"I know how you feel..."

Mordecai stopped sobbing and looked up at Benson. "What?"

"Do you remember the whole stick hockey incident?"

Mordecai nodded, wiping tears away.

Benson started to shed a few tears as well. "I lost my friend Dave during a tournament, he got decapitated right in front of me." He took Mordecai's wing and squeezed it a bit, closing his eyes as the tears continued to fall.

"Words couldn't describe how I felt after that. I was just like you. I thought my world had came to an end, as if I'd lost my own life. I wanted him back so bad, I would KILL to give him his life back, but...I had to face the facts...he was gone..and he wasn't coming back, no matter how much I'd cry and beg."

Mordecai sat up in Benson's lap and hugged him, resting his head on his cheek. "You didn't deserve that, Benson. You're such a good, warm-hearted person, you shouldn't be forced to deal with this stuff."

Benson hugged tighter against Mordecai. "You too, Mordecai. But..death is a part of life, unfortunately. Look, I know you feel lost right now and your world's upside down, but I promise you, it'll all get better over time."

Mordecai sniffled. "I don't know about that.."

"It does, trust me." Benson slightly smiled. "It got better for me, believe it or not. The whole scene still haunts me to this day, but after I grieved for a long while and let all my feelings out, I decided that I was ready to move on with my life."

"Move on? You mean...forget the whole thing happened?"

"No no, of course not! I mean that..well, I'll miss him and I'll always have him in my heart and memories, but in the meantime, I'll live my life while I still have it."

Mordecai nodded in agreement.

Benson smiled at the sky. "I think that's what Dave would want me to do, he wouldn't want me to constantly cry over him all day." He smiled at Mordecai. "I'm sure Zeke would want the same from you."

Mordecai smiled a bit. "I-I guess he would want that, now that I think about it." He looked down. "I just..I'm still heart-broken over it.."

Benson nodded. "Just let your feelings out, don't hold them in. If you feel like you have to cry, then by all means, cry your heart out! The other guys can joke if they want, but like they always say, real men cry."

Mordecai grinned. "I thought the saying was 'real men wear pink'?"

Benson chuckled. "That too, in some cases."

They smiled at each other for a few seconds. Just then, Mordecai remembered something.

"I'm sorry about being such a jerk. I-I know you appreciate all of us, I didn't mean what I said, I was just upset."

Benson nodded. "I fully understand. I just wish you would've told me earlier so I could've helped you."

"I know, I just thought you wouldn't care, I guess.."

"Just because I'm your boss doesn't mean I don't care about what's bothering you. Remember, I still have a heart, no matter how angry I get at you guys."

Mordecai smiled and hugged his boss. "Good to know, Benson. Good to know.."

Afterwards, they took the cart back to the park. Mordecai definitely started to feel better, thanks to Benson. The tragedy would be in the back of his mind for the time being.

"If real men wear pink, I could probably get away with wearing a pink shirt." Mordecai said. "Just to see how many dudes would laugh to hide their insecurities."

Benson smiled. "You seem brave enough to do it, you should try it."

"I totally will, 'cuz I got bravery in my veins!"

Benson chuckled. "You definitely do. I'm sure Dave and your cousin agree with me."

Mordecai laid back in his seat and looked at the sky, smiling. "Yeah, I'm sure of it too."


End file.
